How to Meet People What other singles recommend
April 1999 issue
by Janet L. Jacobsen
At a recent singles dance we invited people to fill out short questionnaires on various
singles issues. One questionnaire focused on attitudes and experiences about meeting
Meeting thru the personals
Nearly an equal portion (70% of the men and 63% of women) had placed a personal ad. Of
those surveyed, including those who had not run an ad, only 5% of men and 15% of women
said they would not recommend placing a personal. But while 52% of women and 50% of men
said they would recommend running a personal, that still left a large group (45% of men
and 33% of women) who were "undecided" about placing a personal.
On the question of whether one had answered a personal ad, 70% of men and 56% of women had
experience answering ads. And 56% of women and 60% of men said they recommend answering
personal ads. The number of all survey respondents who said they would not recommend
answering ads was the same as for placing an ad--5% of men and 15% of women. That left
fewer undecideds when it comes to answering ads--35% of men and 29% of women.
Meeting thru the Internet
Meeting on the Internet was more of an unknown; only 35% of men and 29% of women had
meet people through the Internet. Of all respondents, 35% of men and 22% of women would
recommend meeting through the Internet, 10% of men and 19% of women said no, and 55% of
men and 59% of women were undecided on whether they would recommend the method.
Going out to meet people
"Generally, how often in a month do you go out to meet new people?" On the
average, men go out to meet people 6.5 times a month, compared to 4.4 times for women.
Surprisingly, two women said they never go out to meet people, despite the fact that they
answered the survey at a singles dance. But some singles, both men and women, go out as
often as 20 times a month to meet new people.
"When going out to meet people, how often do you go out alone?" While 30% of the
women say they never go out alone, only 5% of men never do. On the other end of the
spectrum, only 15% of women say they "nearly always" go alone, compared to fully
half the men who "nearly always" go out alone to meet people. Overall, 60% of
women go alone less than half the time, and 75% of the men go out alone half the time or
more, when looking to meet new people.
On the question of going alone, the survey asked, "Is it all right for a woman to go
out alone to a nightclub?" Among the men 74% said yes, and only 5% said no. (21% were
undecided.) But while nearly as many women agreed (70% said yes), a full 22% said no, and
only 7% considered themselves undecided.
The best local singles groups and events for meeting people
When doing our survey, we tried to gather information on singles groups as a way to
meet people, but the data was somewhat skewed by our asking at the All Singles Dances, it
Asked to name the "Best singles group," 50% of women and 39% of men said the All
Singles Dance (though it's technically not a "group" because you don't have to
join anything). For men the other recommendations were primarily spread across a variety
of church-related groups. For women the other recommendations were mostly activity-related
groups, and 25% mentioned the Desert Sailing Club.
(This may sound counter-intuitive, since church groups, stereotypically, are primarily
women and activity groups are primarily men. But that in fact is part of what makes them
"best" events for members of the other sex who are comfortable and enjoy the
activities in those groups.)
Asked the "Best singles event" for meeting people, 91% of women said dances,
half of those specifically naming the All Singles Dances. The remaining 9% recommended the
annual Singles Showcase. Among men, 94% named dances as the best event, 64% naming the All
Singles Dances specifically. The best event for the remaining 6% of men was parties.