Single Scene Newsletter 10-28-02 issue 73 Copyright Single Scene 2002 sing-@primenet.com! In this issue: * How to meet people! * Advice from Aunt Janet: How to have friends for the holidays * November dating and mingling ideas Get timely tips on how to handle the mysteries of dating by signing up for Harlan's dating e-newsletter. Just send a blank e-mail to dating_agai-@topica.com. ------------------------------- How to Meet People Part I - IV by Janet Jacobsen One of the keys to a successful, happy single life is to have a wide circle of friends. To make friends you have to meet people -- and for many newly-single people, those meeting skills have gotten rusty. So here's a refresher course! There are five basic ways to meet people. This issue, we'll cover four. 1. Be in a crisis together. For instance, people trapped together in a sudden storm readily talk to each other. If your ship is sinking, formalities go first. This method is too drastic -- avoid it. 2. Physically collide. You are bound to meet someone you "run into." If you use this one, do it with your shopping cart and not your car. Apologies are essential. 3. Be introduced by a third party. This was the popular method prior to the early 1900s, when it was important to be "properly introduced." This neglected method still works. If you know someone who knows someone you'd like to meet, ask them to introduce you. 4. Introduce yourself. This is the assertive method, and is probably the best, but it is also scary. What's the best "opening line"? Something you have in common is good -- "Oh, I see you drive a Cruiser too," or "This is the slowest grocery line I've ever been in." But the best is usually whatever is the truth for you, especially when you can compliment them on something special you've noticed about them. "I see you here at the gym. You have great determination." One option: "Hi, my name's Janet. You look like an interesting person and I wanted to meet you." Don't worry about being smooth and suave. It's sincerity that counts. It's important, though, that you be willing to accept their response; not everyone is going to be "interested" back, after all. Just say, "Well, I'm glad I got to meet you," and move on. NEXT ISSUE: Method 5: How to get other people to introduce themselves to you! ------------------------------------------------ Know someone who's struggling to adjust to dating? Harlan's FREE 8-day e-mail course on dating again trains you in the basic skills! Just send a blank e-mail to datingagai-@getresponse.com. Be sure to send it from the e-mail address where you want to receive the course. You'll get a helpful lesson each day -- absolutely free! ----------------------------------------------- ADVICE FROM AUNT JANET: How to have friends for the holidays! One of the difficulties of the holidays for some single folk is the idea that everyone else is happily "involved" in a romance and you're the only one left out. If you'll think just a minute, you'll realize that the premise is not true: Many people IN relationships are nevertheless miserable over the holidays. In fact, we caution you AGAINST developing a "major romance" over these next couple of months because the odds are so good that your views of each other will be distorted by various factors of the season. Dating -- fine; major romance? Wait. But if you're newly single, or new to an area, the holiday season CAN be lonely. Fortunately there is an easy cure. You've heard it lots of times, but that's because it WORKS. Get involved! Visit some singles groups; join one or two. Even better, get involved with a volunteer organization that needs lots of help this time of year. You'll feel good about how you're spending your time, and you'll meet like-minded people who could be your friends for a long time to come. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< SHARE WITH A FRIEND-- PLEASE FORWARD THIS ISSUE ! ------------------------------------- Please forward this issue to your single friends and associates. Thanks so much! <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< November DATING & MINGLINGIdeas: Arizona Fall Baseball League plays at the same stadiums as spring training. To November 23. $5 adm. Call your local stadium for their schedule. Fri., Nov. 1 (to 3rd): 28th annual Thunderbird Balloon Classic, WestWorld, 16601 N. Pima Rd., Scottsdale. Hot air balloons, food, entertainment. Evening "desert glow" events. Single day tickets $10. Info 602-978-7797. Sat., Nov. 2: Dia de los Muertos celebration, Desert Botanical Garden, 1201 N. Galvin Parkway, Phoenix. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Mexican Day of the Dead festivities, including food, activities, and live entertainment. Free with Garden admission. 480-941-1225. Sun., Nov. 3: Sunday at Shemer, annual fine-art festival, entertainment, food. Free. 5005 E. Camelback, Phoenix (entrance on Arcadia Drive). 602-262-4727. Sun., Nov. 3: Silent Sunday featuring Douglas Fairbanks, "The American Aristocracy," and "The Americano." Orpheum Theatre, 203 W. Adams, Phoenix. Includes organ concert. 2:30 p.m. $12. 602-262-7272. Mon., Nov. 4 (to Nov. 17): 37th annual Cowboy Arts of America exhibit, Phoenix Art Museum, 1625 N. Central, Phoenix. $7 adm. 602-257-1222. Tues., Nov. 5: Word-buffs meet every Tuesday night 6 p.m. for Scrabble, at the Hampton Inn, just south of Shea on Scottsdale Rd. Wed., Nov. 6: Adults' Night Out, Arizona Science Center, 7th St. & Washington, Phoenix. 5:30-9 p.m. Includes a special program or lecture. $8 adm., plus $2 for giant-screen film or planetarium. 602-716-2000. Thurs., Nov. 7: Every Thurs., free night at Phoenix Art Museum (donations appreciated). Til 9 p.m. 1625 N. Central. 602-257-1880. Fri., Nov. 8: First Fridays art gallery tour, downtown Phoenix, 7-10 pm. Free. DASH bus starts from Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central, Phx. 602-253-5000 ext. 1. Oct. - June Sat., Nov. 9 (& 10): Orchid Society annual show and sale, Liberty Hall, Az. State Veterans Home, 4141 N 3rd St., Phoenix, 9-5. Free. 602-803-6889. Sun., Nov. 10: Music in the Garden, featuring jazz with Novo Mundo, 2 p.m., Desert Botanical Garden, 1201 N. Galvin Parkway, Phoenix. $14 adm. Lunch available. Reservations recommended. 480-941-1225. (Sundays thru Nov.) Mon., Nov. 11: Veterans Day parade, Central Avenue, Indian School south to McDowell, Phoenix. 11 a.m. 602-222-6512. Tues., Nov. 12: Every Tues., East Coast Swing lessons, 9 pm-12:30 am, Bash on Ash, 230 W. Fifth St., Tempe. $5. 480-966-8200. Wed., Nov. 13: Wednesdays (except first Wed.), Royal Scottish Country Dancing, 7 pm, Scottsdale Senior Center, Civic Center & 2nd Ave. Free. 480-834-5662. Newcomers welcome. Thurs., Nov. 14: Every Thurs., bring your lunch to the library for talks about the diverse cultures in Phoenix. Noon-1. Free. First floor Pulliam Auditorium, Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central, Phoenix. Sponsored by the Arizona Humanities Council. Info 602-262-4636. Fri., Nov. 15: Every Fri., open dancing to a variety of music, 9:15 p.m. to midnight. Dance lessons 7:30-9:15. $5 Paragon Dance Center, 3029 N. Alma School, Chandler. 480-777-8877. Sat., Nov. 16 (& 17): Heard Museum Spanish Market, 2301 N. Central, Phoenix. Hispanic artistics, entertainment, and food in the museum courtyard, 9:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. Free. 602-252-8848. Sun., Nov. 17: Leonids meteor shower; pack an evening tailgate picnic to a farm or forest service road outside the city lights. Mon., Nov. 18: Mondays, Movie Night at Mickey's Hangover. The bar features free popcorn and a movie at 9 p.m. Mondays. 4310 N. Brown, Scottsdale. 480-425-0111. Tues., Nov. 19: Most Tuesdays there's a backgammon tournament at 7 pm at the George and Dragon pub, 4240 N. Central in Phoenix. Tourney entry is $10; bring your own board. 602-265-1992. Wed., Nov. 20: Nonsmoking coffeehouse, 7 p.m., auditorium, Glendale Public Library, 5959 W. Brown St. Free. 623-930-3537. Thurs., Nov. 21: Brown Bag Readers Theater, 12:15-12:45, Heritage Square, 7th St. & Washington, Phoenix. Free. 602-262-5029. Fri., Nov. 22: Every Fri., Friday night drag racing, Firebird International Raceway, 20000 S. Maricopa Rd., Chandler. 6 p.m. $10. 602-268-0200. Sat., Nov. 23: Phoenix Parks department sponsors a moonlight hike and dinner, for adults only. A moderate five-mile (round trip) hike on the Holbert Trail to Dobbins Lookout. Dinner, and musical entertainment against the city lights. $7 per person, due by Nov. 9. 602-495-0222. Sun., Nov. 24 (also 23rd): Devonshire Renaissance Faire, Los Olivos Park, 28th St. & Devonshire, Phoenix. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Medieval-style entertainers, music, crafts, food. 602-246-2125. Mon., Nov. 25: Mondays (and Wednesdays) women's division Scottsdale Blues Ruby Club practice and play 7:30 p.m. Arcadia High School, 4703 E. Indian School. Hotline: 602-407-5555. Tues., Nov. 26: Poetry in the Park, Encanto Park Clubhouse, 2605 N. 15th Ave., Phoenix. 7-9:30 p.m. Free. 602-262-6412. Wed., Nov. 27: Every Wed., 7:30 p.m. Poetry slam open to all. Essenza Coffee House, 1350 S. Longmore, Mesa. 480-461-0445. Thurs., Nov. 28: Annual Thanksgiving Day Parade, downtown Fountain Hills. 9 a.m. 480-837-1654. --Holiday lights go on all around, starting today. Heritage Square in downtown Phoenix includes a giant Christmas tree. --Glendale Glitters Holiday Light Display, downtown Glendale 58th & Glendale Avenues. Entertainment Friday & Sat. evenings. Free. Fri., Nov. 29: APS Fiesta of Light Candyland Concert & Step Back in Time, Heritage and Science Park, 7th St. & Washington, Phoenix. 4-8 p.m. Children's concert, entertainment, activities, fireworks. 602-262-5029. Sat., Nov. 30: Hogs in Heat, all-you-can-eat barbecue & dance, Rock Springs Cafe, Black Canyon City (exit 242, I-17 n. of Phx.). 4 pm-? 623-374-5794. < > < > < > < > < > IF YOU KNOW THE RIGHT CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS, meeting people can be fun and easy ! Improve your MEETING PEOPLE skills with the HOW TO MEET PEOPLE audiocassette by Janet Jacobsen, editor of Single Scene. You'll learn **How to overcome your fears **Three sure-fire meeting methods **Where to find interesting people **Simple, fun techniques to improve your social life NOW. To order HOW TO MEET PEOPLE, send $9.95 (first class postage & handling included) to Interpersonal Enterprises Inc. Box 6243 Dept. E Scottsdale AZ 85261-6243. Satisfaction Guaranteed!