Single Scene Newsletter 11-30-02 issue 74 Copyright Single Scene 2002 sing-@primenet.com! In this issue: * How to get other people to introduce themselves to you! * Advice from Aunt Janet: Why personal growth equals better relationships * December dating and mingling ideas Get timely tips on how to handle the mysteries of dating by signing up for Harlan's dating e-newsletter. Just send a blank e-mail to dating_agai-@topica.com. ------------------------------- HOW TO MEET PEOPLE Part 5 How to get other people to introduce themselves to you! Last issue we shared four basic methods for meeting people. This issue, as promised, we'll teach you the fifth method -- getting people to introduce themselves to you. If you don't have quite the courage or aren't sure it would be appropriate to introduce yourself, you can help induce others to introduce themselves to you by making it as easy as possible for them. There are three ways to do this: 1. Being available. If during the course of daily routines you happen to see a person now and then, eventually it seems natural to smile, say hello, and finally to start a conversation. You can deliberately "cross routines" with someone you want to meet. Use the same laundromat or supermarket. Frequent the same dance spots or restaurants; ride the same elevator at work, park in the same parking lot. It takes some observation, and a lot of time. But it works. 2. Eye contact. Meeting the person's eyes briefly -- don't stare them down -- and adding a smile or small nod, lets them know it's safe to say hello to you. 3. And finally, "bait." This is anything that makes it easy for the other person to speak to you, by giving them something to talk about. An animal is a big help; who can resist talking to someone who's carrying a cute puppy or kitten? Toys can be useful -- take a frisbee to the park, for instance. One lady had a big toy gorilla she took with her to bars; anyone who wanted to meet her would just come over and ask about her "friend." Other kinds of bait are jewelry, books, or unusual clothes. T-shirts with slogans work too. Since the purpose of bait is to make it easier for others to talk to you, watch for bait on the people you'd like to meet. Ask them about that unusual necklace, or if they really went to Hawaii University. Compliment them on their beautiful sweater. Ask them if it's a good book, pet the dog, offer to play frisbee. That's how you meet people. ------------------------------------------------ Know someone who's struggling to adjust to dating? Harlan's FREE 8-day e-mail course on dating again trains you in the basic skills! Just send a blank e-mail to datingagai-@getresponse.com. Be sure to send it from the e-mail address where you want to receive the course. You'll get a helpful lesson each day -- absolutely free! ----------------------------------------------- ADVICE FROM AUNT JANET: Why personal growth equals better relationships If you aren't happy about the quality of your current friends and relationships, remember -- you get what you reward. Recently I was in a discussion with a woman who was working on improving her assertiveness skills who mentioned that something I had said had really encouraged her -- that by being more the kind of person she wanted to be, she would attract people who would appreciate those qualities about her. People can't take advantage of you or take you for granted unless you let them. We have no control over other people's behaviors, but we do control what we tolerate, put up with, and even reward. By improving your own communication and assertiveness skills, you affect the people around you, and invite more positive, honest relationships. Will the current people in your life change with you? Maybe, maybe not. But the friends and relationships you attract as you change for the better will be better too. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< SHARE WITH A FRIEND-- PLEASE FORWARD THIS ISSUE ! ------------------------------------- If you haven't already done so, please forward this issue to your single friends and associates. Thanks so much! <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< December Dating & Mingling Ideas: Sun., Dec. 1 (to Jan. 5, except 12/25): 11th Annual Zoolights, Phoenix Zoo, 455 N. Galvin Parkway, 6-10 pm. $7. 602-273-1341. Mon., Dec. 2 (thru Jan. 5): Glendale Glitters, evenings, 59th Ave. & Glendale Ave. Free. Entertainment on weekends. 623-930-2299. Tues., Dec. 3 (to Jan. 5): Victorian Holidays, tour the holiday decorated Rosson House, 6th St. & Monroe, Phx. 10 am to 4 pm. Adm. charge. 602-262-5029. Wed., Dec. 4: Dennis Rowland Quartet & Arizona Big Band concert, Kerr Cultural Center, 6110 N. Scottsdale Rd. 7:30 pm. $18. 480-596-2660. Thurs., Dec. 5: Every Thurs. in Dec., Antique Walk, evening, downtown Glendale. 623-435-0556. Fri., Dec. 6 (to 8): Tempe Festival of the Arts, downtown Tempe, 3 stages of live entertainment, arts and crafts, 50 food booths. Hundreds of thousands of people! Free. 480-967-4877. Sat., Dec. 7: Christmas & Kwanzaa Expo, Heritage and Science Park, 7th St. & Washington, Phoenix. 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Arts, crafts, food & entertainment. Free. 602-262-5029. Sat., Dec. 7: APS Electric Light Parade, Central Avenue, Phoenix. Bleacher seating, $15. Sun., Dec. 8 (also 7th): Pueblo Grande Indian Market, Steele Indian School Park, 3rd St. & Indian School, Phoenix. 9 am to 5 pm. Fine arts, entertainment, food. $7. 602-495-0901. Mon., Dec. 9: Movie Night at Mickey's Hangover. The bar features free popcorn and a movie at 9 p.m. Mondays. 4310 N. Brown, Scottsdale. 480-425-0111. Tues., Dec. 10: Every Tues., East Coast Swing lessons, 9 pm-12:30 am, Bash on Ash, 230 W. Fifth St., Tempe. $5. 480-966-8200. Wed., Dec. 11: Every Wed., 7-10 pm, coffee house with performers and a jam session, Encanto Park Clubhouse, Phoenix. 602-261-8993. Thurs., Dec. 12: Art Walk (every Thurs.), Scottsdale galleries, 5th Ave. area. 7-9 p.m. 480-990-3939. Fri., Dec. 13 (to 30, except 24 & 25): Holiday Lights, McCormick-Stillman Railroad Park, Scottsdale Rd. & Indian Bend. 480-312-2312. Sat., Dec. 14: Geminids meteor shower. Sat., Dec. 14: Tempe Town Lake Holiday Boat Parade and Lights Spectacular. Entertainment at 6:30 p.m., boat parade at 7. Free. 480-350-5185. (Is also Snow Day in downtown Tempe, with 25 tons of snow delivered, 10 a.m.) Sun., Dec. 15: Silent Sunday, "The General" silent film, with live organ accompaniment, Orpheum Theatre, 203 W. Adams, Phoenix. 2:30 p.m. $10.50 adm. 602-478-7464. Mon., Dec. 16: Mondays (and Wednesdays) women's division Scottsdale Blues Ruby Club practice and play 7:30 p.m. Arcadia High School, 4703 E. Indian School. Hotline: 602-407-5555. Tues., Dec. 17: Word-buffs meet every Tuesday night 6 p.m. for Scrabble, at the Hampton Inn, just south of Shea on Scottsdale Rd. Wed., Dec. 18: Nonsmoking coffeehouse, 7 p.m., auditorium, Glendale Public Library, 5959 W. Brown St. Free. 623-930-3537. Thurs., Dec. 19: Every Thurs., free night at Phoenix Art Museum (donations appreciated). Til 9 p.m. 1625 N. Central. 602-257-1880. Fri., Dec. 20: Every Fri., open dancing to a variety of music, 9:15 p.m. to midnight. Dance lessons 7:30-9:15. $5 Paragon Dance Center, 3029 N. Alma School, Chandler. 480-777-8877. Sat., Dec. 21: Luminary Night Hike, Reach 11 Recreation Area, E. Tatum Trailhead, 19224 N. Tatum Blvd., sponsored by Phoenix Parks. 2-mile lit trail, booths, food. 6-9 p.m. Free. 602-262-6696. Sun., Dec. 22: Sundays, Adobe Mountain Railroad Museum and Desert Railroad Park, 23280 N. 43rd Ave., Phoenix. Free rides in mini-steam trains. 12-5 pm. Free (donations appreciated). 623-386-5737. Mon., Dec. 23: No holiday decorations up at your house? Hit some thrift shops for inexpensive items; spend the evening decorating. Pop popcorn. Tues., Dec. 24: Attend a neighborhood church service where the children put on the program; go out for hot chocolate afterward. Wed., Dec. 25: Merry Christmas. Drive around the neighborhood to see holiday lights. Thurs., Dec. 26 (to 31): Holidays at the Heard, 2301 N. Central, Phoenix. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Native American music, dancing, art demonstrations, fry bread. $7. 602-252-8840. Fri., Dec. 27: Evening poetry reading, Changing Hands Bookstore, McClintock & Guadalupe (sw corner), Tempe. Sat., Dec. 28: Last Saturday: Hogs in Heat, all-you-can-eat barbecue & dance, Rock Springs Cafe, Black Canyon City (exit 242, I-17 n. of Phx.). 4 pm-? 623-374-5794. Sun, Dec. 29: Every Sunday, free admission day at the Pueblo Grande Museum, 4619 E. Washington, Phoenix, on southwest archeology and culture. 1-4:45 Sunday. 602-495-0901. Mon., Dec. 30: Have friends over to play board games in the evening. Have a left-overs potluck. Tues, Dec. 31: Fiesta Bowl Parade, Central Ave., Phoenix. 11 a.m. Tues., Dec. 31: Tempe Fiesta Bowl Block Party, Mill Ave. & Tempe Beach Park. National bands, musical entertainment, fireworks, carnival. 480-350-0900. < > < > < > < > < > IF YOU KNOW THE RIGHT CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS, meeting people can be fun and easy ! Improve your MEETING PEOPLE skills with the HOW TO MEET PEOPLE audiocassette by Janet Jacobsen, editor of Single Scene. You'll learn **How to overcome your fears **Three sure-fire meeting methods **Where to find interesting people **Simple, fun techniques to improve your social life NOW. To order HOW TO MEET PEOPLE, send $9.95 (first class postage & handling included) to Interpersonal Enterprises Inc. Box 6243 Dept. E Scottsdale AZ 85261-6243. Satisfaction Guaranteed!