Singles Scene Newsletter 2/14/00 issue 12 sing-@primenet.com In this issue: * Are you a Good Conversationalist? * Singles Site of the Week * All Singles Dance Schedule * Arizona Date Ideas * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Do you share the conversational spotlight? by Janet L. Jacobsen Who are you most interested in and fascinated by--other people, or yourself? A woman recently of meeting a man for a coffee date through the personals. The first hour, she said, he talked about nothing but himself and his former girlfriend. The half hour after that, she said, he did ask her some things about herself. She considered him intelligent, articulate, successful, and a dud. Sure, people whose relationship has just ended need to talk about their feelings and their problems, but they'd better do it with other people going through the same experience, because nobody else (except counselors who get paid for it) thinks any more than about five minutes of such talk is even remotely interesting. And even without harping about past relationships, going on at length about your interests, and your experiences and your problems does not really qualify as a conversation - it's more like giving a lecture. And if it happens on a first date, the other person probably isn't going to force their way into the conversation; they'll just refuse to ever see you again. On the other hand, insisting that the other person do all the talking is often seen as being just as selfish, since it implies that you're not willing to make any effort or take any risk; you want them to do all the work and take all the conversational responsibility. It's balance we value, and a partner who shares the load--in conversation and in life--wins appreciation. Not totally sure how a shared, successful conversation works? Just listen closely to the good conversationalists you know, and watch how they achieve their success. Then imitate them like crazy: that's what's known as "the sincerest form of flattery." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Site of the Week: Don Juan's Romantic Web Site - films, poems, advice, chat, etc. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ALL SINGLES DANCE SHEDULE: FEBRUARY 2000 Fri. 18 Scottsdale Radisson, 7171 N. Scottsdale Rd Fri. 25* Sheraton Crescent, 2620 W. Dunlap MARCH Fri. 3 Mountain Shadows, 5641 E. Lincoln Dr. * Ladies' Night, ladies' admission $1 Call 480-949-8076 (press 1) for more info or see *********************** DATE IDEAS Monday, Feb. 14: Valentine's Day! For the "just-dating" relationship, a romantic dinner at your favorite burger joint, then share a banana split (that's romantic!) at a soda fountain. For the "something special" relationship, cook dinner together; champagne and chocolates for dessert. Tuesday, Feb. 15: First, contact the Scottsdale Chamber of Commerce (480-945-8481) for a walking-tour map of historic old-town Scottsdale. Dine out in downtown first, then walk it off with a "tour." Wed., Feb. 16: 7 p.m., fun skate for adults, El Dorado Park, 2311 N. Miller Rd., Scottsdale. Winds thru city. Free. 480-942-4156. Thurs., Feb. 17: Antique Walk, downtown Glendale. 623-435-0556. Fri., Feb. 18 (also 19 & 20): St. Katherine's Greek Festival, Community Center, Chandler, 480-899-3330. Fri., Feb. 18 (also 19 to 21): 33rd Annual O'odham Tash, Casa Grande. Pow wows, parades, pageants, carnival, rodeo, etc. 800-916-1515. Sat., Feb. 19 (also 20th): Tempe Epicurean Festival, downtown Tempe. Demonstrations, cook-offs. Free. 480-967-4877. Sat., Feb. 19 (also 18 & 20): 13th Annual Goodyear Rodeo Days, Estrella Mountain Regional Park Rodeo Grounds. 623-932-3360. Sun., Feb. 20: All British Car Show, Heritage & Science Park, 7th St. & Washington, Phoenix. 10 am to 3 pm. 602-262-5029. Mon., Feb. 21: President's Day. If you've got the holiday, take a drive out of town: head to Prescott for lunch, or visit the Boyce Thompson Arboretum in Superior. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * NOTE: Next week's newsletter may be late. To unsubscribe to this newsletter, send a blank email to singlesphx--@topica.com If a friend would like to subscribe, have them send a blank email to singlesphx-@topica.com