Single Scene Newsletter 3-28-03 Issue 78 Copyright Single Scene 2003 http://www.azsinglescene.com singles@globalcrossing.net IN THIS ISSUE: * Singles news -- national & local * Advice from Aunt Janet: If she’s happy, he’s happy!? * April daily ideas for dating and mingling! ------------------------------- Get timely tips on how to handle the mysteries of dating by signing up for Harlan’s dating e-newsletter. Just send a blank e-mail to dating_again-subscribe@topica.com. ----------------------------------------------- Grief Support Series in Phoenix For those who've recently suffered the loss of a loved one, Christ Church Lutheran is offering a grief support series Monday evenings 7-9 p.m. beginning April 14 for six consecutive weeks in room 205 of the Christian Life Center, 3901 E. Indian School in Phoenix. Topics include stages of grief, staying in control, coping with stress, dealing with the holidays, and learning to live again. The $25 donation covers all books and materials. For info talk to facilitator Betty Daly, 480-833-2265. Singles News Briefs by Janet L. Jacobsen Are “reality” romances real? In a CNN internet poll, just 11% of 71,376 respondents thought that the “romances” were real on the recent round of “reality” tv shows. New ploy to date dumb people! Now there’s a company offering fake ATM receipts, with the suggestion you use them to “impress” members of the opposite sex. (Actually, most of the pitch is about impressing women.) The fake “receipts” indicate that they are from Fidelity National Bank & Savings (FNBS) and that you have a balance of $314,159.26. Use the receipts as “scratch paper” to hand out your phone number or leave a note, which is supposed to make a very favorable impression on friends, potential dates, etc. — even improve your self-esteem. The assumption is apparently that no one — including yourself — will ever notice that the bank doesn’t exist and you have no such “balance.” “Disturbing” trends in dating. The February issue of Reader’s Digest listed “5 disturbing trends in modern dating:” 1. Theradate, the company that matches shrinks’ patients based on their neuroses. 2. Molson beer labels printed with pickup lines. 3. Dating coaches polish your conversation skills and appearance for $150 an hour. 4. Virgin Mobile cell phones can be programmed to “rescue ring” so that on dull dates you can fake an emergency and split. 5. A “Dump Kit” which includes a voodoo doll and a rubber band to “snap” yourself when you get weepy about being dumped. Little things that keep a relationship close. A recent article in Redbook explained several ways to keep a relationship close: 1. Touch. That’s separate from sex, and includes simple gestures such as holding hands, an arm around the waist, an extra hug. 2. Rituals. Establish a routine of small considerations: “Think little, personal, and sweet.” 3. Learn from kindergarten. Be polite — listen, say please and thank you. And omit anything rude. 4. Let compliments fly. When you think nice thoughts about the person — tell them! 5. Think random acts of kindness: spontaneous gestures like a surprise activity, an unexpected favor, and general TLC. Who are smokers today? A recent report from the Center for Disease Control & Prevention looked at adult smoking behaviors in 1997-98, and found that about 40% of cohabitating adults smoke, compared to 36% of those separated and divorced, 26% of never married adults, and 21% of marrieds. About 1 in 4 adults smoke (24.2%), and almost as many are former smokers (23.2%). Of current smokers, 4 out of 5 started smoking before they were 21, and about 30% started before they were 16. No word on whether the statistics mean nonsmokers are more likely to marry, or that smokers who marry are more likely to quit. Annual TV Turn-Off Week April 21-27. Add 27 hours to your week! Experience peace and quiet. Play board games with your kids. Have time for your hobbies. The average American watches 27 hours of tv a week. Shut off the tube (if necessary, unplug and put in closet) during the annual TV Turn-Off Week April 21-27. For info and ideas, visit www.tvturnoff.org. Quotable. “There are two kinds of people in the world — those who walk into a room and turn the tv on, and those who walk into a room and turn the tv off.” From the film, The Manchurian Candidate. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< ADVICE FROM AUNT JANET: If she’s happy, he’s happy!? Women complain that men don’t talk about the relationship, don’t “commit” like women want, and generally don’t communicate like women expect. Meanwhile the evidence continues to grow that in dating relationships and in marriage relationships, the WOMAN’s communication style has the greatest effect on the perceptions of BOTH partners in a relationship. In other words, if the woman has good communication skills and positive messages about the relationship, the man is more likely to be as satisfied with the relationship as she is, even if he DOESN’T talk about things at the same level she does. This has two key implications: First, finding a way to keep a positive tone in your communication is very important (for both partners). When you ask for change without making it an attack on your partner, the relationship is stronger. Second, researchers are concluding that on average men may simply show their involvement in a relationship in other ways than talk, such as spending time, or doing things for their partner. Women may be failing to recognize -- and appreciate -- these signals. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< April Dating & Mingling Ideas: Tues., April 1: Unless things heat up fast, we'll have wildflowers for a while yet. To find the best locations around the state, call the Desert Botanical Garden Wildflower Hotline (through April): 602-941-1225. Wed., April 2: Adults' Night Out, Arizona Science Center, 7th St. & Washington, Phoenix. 5:30-9 p.m. Includes a special program or lecture. $8 adm., plus $2 for giant-screen film or planetarium. 602-716-2000. Thurs., April 3 (thru May 4): "Masterworks from El Greco to Picasso in The Phillips Collection" opens at the Phoenix Art Museum, 1625 N. Central Ave. Billed as "the most important exhibition ever mounted in Arizona." $16 tickets are for timed and dated entry. Advance reservations are recommended through Ticketmaster, or in person at the Museum. Museum info 602-257-1880. Fri., April 4: First Fridays art gallery tour, downtown Phoenix, 6-10 pm. Free. DASH bus starts from Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central, Phx. 602-253-5000 ext. 1. or 602-256-7539. Sat., April 5: Arizona Book Festival, Carnegie/Arizona State Library, 1101 W. Washington, Phoenix, 10 am to 5 pm. Free, family event. Literary activities, meet authors. Sun., April 6 (also 5th): History of the Soldier celebration, Fort Verde State Park, Camp Verde. Info, 602-542-4174 or www.azstateparks.com Mon., April 7: Chess night 7 pm at Borders Books & Music, Biltmore Fashion Park, 24th St. & Camelback, Phx. Watch; play! 602-957-6660. Tues., April 8: Movie Tuesdays movie discussion series, every Tuesday, 5:30-7 p.m. Pulliam Auditorium, Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central, Phoenix. Free. 602-262-4636. Wed., April 9: Wednesdays (except first Wed.), Royal Scottish Country Dancing, 7 pm, Scottsdale Senior Center, Civic Center & 2nd Ave. Free. 480-834-5662. Newcomers welcome. Thurs., April 10 (also 11-13): 25th Anniversary Scottsdale Culinary Festival, Scottsdale Civic Center Mall, food and entertainment. $5 adm. Event prices vary. 480-945-7193, 480-994-2787. Fri., April 11: Every Fri., open dancing to a variety of music, 9:15 p.m. to midnight. Dance lessons 7:30-9:15. $5 Paragon Dance Center, 3029 N. Alma School, Chandler. 480-777-8877. Sat., April 12: Serious Confetti Family Festivals, sponsored by Phoenix Parks. Free entertainment, noon to 4. Call for registration information. 2 locations: Harmon Branch Library, 411 W. Yavapai, Phoenix, 602-262-6362; Palo Verde Branch Library, 4402 N. 51st Ave., Phoenix, 602-262-6805. Sun., April 13: 13th annual Sunday on Central. Central Avenue Phoenix closed between Osborn Rd. & Virginia Ave., 11 am to 5 pm. Entertainment, food, exhibits. Free adm. 602-534-FEST. Mon., April 14: Movie Night at Mickey's Hangover. The bar features free popcorn and a movie at 9 p.m. Mondays. 4310 N. Brown, Scottsdale. 480-425-0111. Tues., April 15: Every Tues., East Coast Swing lessons, 9 pm-12:30 am, Bash on Ash, 230 W. Fifth St., Tempe. $5. 480-966-8200. Wed., April 16: First and 3rd Wed., a nonsmoking coffeehouse, 7 p.m., auditorium, Glendale Public Library, 5959 W. Brown St. Free. 623-930-3537. Thurs., April 17: Art Walk (every Thurs.), Scottsdale galleries, 5th Ave. area. 7-9 p.m. 480-990-3939. Fri., April 18: Every Fri., Rodders Fellowship Club classic car "Friday Night Cruise-In", parking lot, ne corner Baseline & Stapley Dr. in Mesa. Begins 6 pm. Sat., April 19: Horseback Trail Ride, ranger guided horseback ride, South Mountain Park, Ponderosa Stables, 10215 S. Central. 1 1/2 hour program includes ride, entertainment. $15 per person includes horse. Call for time & registration: 602-495-0222. Sun., April 20: Sundays, Adobe Mountain Railroad Museum and Desert Railroad Park, 23280 N. 43rd Ave., Phoenix. Free rides in mini-steam trains. 12-5 pm. Free (donations appreciated). 623-386-5737. Mon., April 21: Mondays (and Wednesdays) women's division Scottsdale Blues Rugby Club practice and play 7:30 p.m. Arcadia High School, 4703 E. Indian School. Hotline: 602-407-5555. Tues., April 22: Poetry in the Park, Encanto Park Clubhouse, 2605 N. 15th Ave., Phoenix. 7-9:30 p.m. Free. 602-262-6412. Wed., April 23: Every Wed., 7-10 pm, coffee house with performers and a jam session, Encanto Park Clubhouse, Phoenix. 602-261-8993. Thurs., April 24: Every Thurs. "Sport Compact Only" drag racing, Firebird International Raceway, 20000 S. Maricopa Rd., Chandler, 7 p.m. $10. $5 parking. 602-268-0200. Fri., April 25 (thru 27): Arizona Asian Festival, entertainment, demonstrations, food. Free adm. Patriots Square Park, Washington & Central, Phoenix. 602-721-8889. Sat., April 26 (also 25th): Verde Valley Birding & Nature Festival, Deadhorse Ranch State Park. Info, 602-542-4174 or www.azstateparks.com. Sun., April 27: Every Sunday, free admission day at the Pueblo Grande Museum, 4619 E. Washington, Phoenix, on southwest archeology and culture. 1-4:45 Sunday. 602-495-0901. Mon., April 28: Evenings are cool enough for a picnic. Pack something from home, or get fried chicken take-out. Roses (such as at Encanto Park, Phoenix) should be spectacular now. Tues., April 29: Most Tuesdays there's a backgammon tournament at 7 pm at the George and Dragon pub, 4240 N. Central in Phoenix. Tourney entry is $10; bring your own board. 602-265-1992. Wed., April 30: Every Wed., 7:30 p.m. Poetry slam open to all. Essenza Coffee House, 1350 S. Longmore, Mesa. 480-461-0445. ---------------------------------------- For help in adjusting to and even enjoying single life, visit our website at http://divorcerecovery101.com. YOU CAN HELP! We have no budget to advertise our singles' Internet information, maintained solely to help newly divorced and widowed people. Newly singled people will find out about it and get help from them only if readers like you (word of mouth) tell them about the sites and newsletters. Next time you attend a support group, class, seminar, singles event etc. please do both us and them a favor by recommending and telling them about these sites, newsletters, and courses. Remind them they are all totally FREE. ------------------------------------------------ SHARE WITH A FRIEND-- PLEASE FORWARD THIS ISSUE ! If you haven't already done so, please forward this issue to your single friends and associates. Thanks so much! <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< IF YOU KNOW THE RIGHT CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS, meeting people can be fun and easy ! Improve your MEETING PEOPLE skills with the HOW TO MEET PEOPLE audiocassette by Janet Jacobsen, editor of Single Scene. You’ll learn **How to overcome your fears **Three sure-fire meeting methods **Where to find interesting people **Simple, fun techniques to improve your social life NOW. To order HOW TO MEET PEOPLE, send $9.95 (first class postage & handling included) to Interpersonal Enterprises Inc. Box 6243 Dept. E Scottsdale AZ 85261-6243. 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