Single Scene Newsletter 3-31-02 issue 66 Copyright Single Scene 2002 sing-@primenet.com! In this issue: * Alone again successfully * Advice from Aunt Janet: Showing skin -- don't advertise what you're not selling * April Dating & Mingling Calendar Looking for GREAT PLACES TO MEET Arizona singles? Interested in good advice about dating and relationships? SUBSCRIBE to Single Scene newspaper ! Delivered direct to your door by an agent of the U.S. Government! (Your postal person.) Just $9.50 for 12 bi-monthly issues--send to Single Scene, Box 10159, Scottsdale AZ 85271. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------- Alone Again Successfully by Janet L. Jacobsen One of the hardest adjustments for people who become "suddenly single" through death or divorce is learning to live alone. Sometimes it even seems like coming home to a good argument would be better than coming home to an "empty" house. Here are some techniques that will help make the transition a quicker one. 1. Keep a journal. This is like self-counseling; to write down how you feel you must examine it, make it clear and understandable. Once an idea or problem is down on paper, it's easier to take an objective view. Also, as the days go by you can see how your feelings are changing, enabling you to gain fresh insight. 2. Study. Study in your career field--you'll feel more capable and independent. Study the self-help and self-improvement books--get some outside perspective on the problems and choices you are facing. Study a special interest--learn music, or wood-working, or fortune-telling, or whatever intrigues you. As you learn and improve in all these areas, you'll add to your self-confidence and also become a more interesting person. 3. Learn the lessons in self-awareness that living alone can teach you. Get out of role-expectations about household life and discover that you really can cook, sew, make repairs, remodel, or whatever else you "couldn' t" do. Then learn what you want to do, not just what you think you should do. How important is it to you really if the bed is made? And what about time priorities? Do you need to dust once a day, once a week, or once a year? And relative values--do you buy margarine because you always have, or because you really prefer it to butter? 4. Be cautious with television. It can be a good companion when you'd rather not think about things for a while. But it can eat up enormous amounts of time and does nothing for your self-esteem. If you're feeling blue anyway, avoid depressing or violent programs. After a stint of tv watching, ask yourself how you feel. If it seems as though your life is wasting away, it's time to start developing hobbies and outside interests. 5. Learn to live alone, and go out alone. Start with the easy places--museums, church, libraries, public meetings. When you're ready, try something else that interests you: concerts, movies, nightclubs, or bars, for instance. For many women, hardest of all is learning to dine out or to travel alone. Work into things gradually--this doesn't need to be a crash course. Congratulate yourself thoroughly for each new thing you try. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ADVICE FROM AUNT JANET: Don't advertise what you're not selling Warm weather is on the way, and with it the temptation to dress in the currently fashionable "skimpy" clothing. But before you go out to a singles event, or on a first date, think about whether the way you are dressed is sending the message that you want. (And you may NOT use "fashion" as an excuse. You're a grownup now, and responsible for yourself.) Does dressing provocatively invite the kind of attention you want? If you want to be taken seriously, if you want people to like you for yourself, avoid dressing as though your body is all you have to offer. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< SHARE WITH A FRIEND-- PLEASE FORWARD THIS ISSUE ! ---------------------------------------------- If you haven't already done so, please forward this issue to your single friends and associates. Thanks so much! <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< April Dating & Mingling Ideas for Every Day of the Month: Mon., April 1: 7 pm, chess night at Borders Books & Music, Biltmore Fashion Park, 24th St. & Camelback, Phx. Watch; play! 602-957-6660. Tues., April 2: Poetry in April, free poetry reading and discussion with featured writer, 7 p.m. Tempe Public Library Lower Level Program Room. Every Tues. in April. 480-350-5287. Wed., April 3: Adults' Night Out, Arizona Science Center, 7th St. & Washington, Phoenix. 5:30-9 p.m. Includes a special program or lecture. $8 admi., plus $2 for giant-screen film or planetarium. 602-716-2000. Thurs., April 4: Art Walk (every Thurs.), Scottsdale galleries, 5th Ave. area. 7-9 p.m. 480-990-3939. Fri., April 5 (to 7th): Tempe Spring Festival of the Arts, downtown Tempe. Largest arts & entertainment festival in the Southwest. 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Free. 480-967-4877. Sat., April 6: 5th Annual Arizona Book Festival. Kicks off ONEBOOKAZ, this year reading "Animal Dreams," by Barbara Kingsolver. Panel discussions, books for sale, exhibitors. Free. Margaret T. Hance Deck park next to Burton Barr Central Library, 12121 N. Central Ave., Phx. 602-262-4636. Sun., April 7: Concert by Igor's Jazz Cowboys, 3 p.m. at Kerr Cultural Center, 6110 N. Scottsdale Rd. Think Roy Rogers singing with Louis Armstrong. $10 general admission. 480-965-5377. Mon., April 8: Always hanging out in the same old places? Meet at a mall or downtown you don't usually visit. Explore! Find a one-of-a-kind restaurant for dinner. Tues., April 9: Most Tuesdays there's a backgammon tournament at 7 pm at the George and Dragon pub, 4240 N. Central in Phoenix. Tourney entry is $10; bring your own board. 602-265-1992. Wed., April 10 (to 14th): Maricopa County Fair, Arizona State Fairgounds, 1826 W. McDowell, Phx. $5 adm. Info 602-252-0717. Thurs., April 11: Every Thurs. is free night at Phoenix Art Museum (donations appreciated). Til 9 p.m. 1625 N. Central. 602-257-1880. Fri., April 12: Ballet Under the Stars, 7:30 p.m., Tempe Town Lake, at Beach Park, featuring Ballet Arizona. Free, lawn seating. 480-350-5287. Sat., April 13 (to 21): Valley Bike Week. Pedal side by side, or rent a tandem bike and go double! The canals make great bike paths, especially if you'd like to go a long distance. Sun., April 14: Sunday on Central, 12th annual family-oriented celebration on Central Ave., Phx., between Virginia & Osborn. Street is closed for 3 stages of entertainment, plus activities, food, dance. 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Free. 602-534-3378. Mon., April 15: Tempe Symphony Orchestra, free concert, 7:30 p.m., Boyle Auditorium, McClintock High School. 480-350-5287. Tues., April 16: A lovely night for a walk! A city park, a lovely neighborhood, a downtown area. Get out for a stroll and some ice cream! Wed., April 17: Lore & romance of the Colorado River, with Marshall Trimble. Free. 7-8 p.m. Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central Ave., Phx. 602-262-4636. Thurs., April 18: Every Thursday, Phoenix International Folk Dancing, 7:30-10 pm, ballroom of the Encanto Park Clubhouse, Phoenix. 480-986-7293. Fri., April 19 (to 21st): 8th annual Arizona Asian Festival, Patriots Square Park, Washington St. & Central, Phx. Ethnic cuisine, arts & crafts, entertainment and fashion. Free. 602-788-8899. Sat., April 20 (also 19th & 21st): 18th annual Glendale Jazz & Blues Festival, downtown, 58th & Glendale Avenues. 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. Free. Sun., April 21: "Live at the Lake," musical entertainment, Tempe Town Lake Beach Park every Sunday. 6:30 pm. Admission & parking, free. 480-350-5287. Mon., April 22: Quick while the nights are still balmy -- have dinner at a restaurant with outdoor seating. Tues., April 23: Visit a rose garden in the early evening. Sahuaro Ranch Park in Glendale has a great one, but there are lots of others. Pack a picnic supper! Wed., April 24: "Parenting,: Raising children in the blink of an eye (It just SEEMS like forever)," in the Visiting Professor free lecture series at the Glendale Public Library, 5959 W. Brown, 7 p.m. Info 623-834-3808. Thurs., April 25: Every Thurs., Sc. Center for the Arts, Civic Center Mall, is open til 8 p.m. 480-994-ARTS. Fri., April 26: Astronomy Open House, Bateman Physical Science Bldg., H-wing roof (5th floor), ASU. 8-10 p.m. Free. Telescopic views. 480-727-7010. (during school year) Sat., April 27: Free concerts by the United States Coast Guard Band, 2 p.m., Scottsdale Civic Central Mall Amphitheatre, 74th St. & Main. 480-004-ARTS. Sun., April 28: Every Sunday, Adobe Mountain Railroad Museum and Desert Railroad Park, 23280 N. 43rd Ave., Phoenix. Free rides in mini-steam trains. 12-5 pm. Free (donations appreciated). 623-386-5737. Mon., April 29: Time to slim down before swim suit season? Rent rollerblades (and lots of protective gear!) Tues., April 30 (& May 1): Miss the Olympics? See the Region I Decathlon/Heptathlon 3 p.m. at Glendale Community College, 6000 W. Olive Ave. Free. < > < > < > < > < > IF YOU KNOW THE RIGHT CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS, meeting people can be fun and easy ! Improve your MEETING PEOPLE skills with the HOW TO MEET PEOPLE audiocassette by Janet Jacobsen, editor of Single Scene. You'll learn **How to overcome your fears **Three sure-fire meeting methods **Where to find interesting people **Simple, fun techniques to improve your social life NOW. To order HOW TO MEET PEOPLE, send $9.95 (first class postage & handling included) to Interpersonal Enterprises Inc. Box 6243 Dept. E Scottsdale AZ 85261-6243. Satisfaction Guaranteed!