Single Scene Newsletter 6-24-02 issue 69 Copyright Single Scene 2002 sing-@primenet.com! In this issue: * Foretelling the future of your relationship * Advice from Aunt Janet: Newly single? No dating for six months! * July Dating & Mingling Calendar Know someone who's struggling to adjust to dating? Harlan's FREE 8-day e-mail course on dating again trains you in the basic skills! Just send a blank e-mail to datingagai-@getresponse.com. Be sure to send it from the e-mail address where you want to receive the course. You'll get a helpful lesson each day -- absolutely free! ----------------------------------------------- Foretelling the Future of Your Relationship by Janet L. Jacobsen Some people come away from an unhappy relationship wondering if maybe they should have known it would turn out this way, if maybe there were signs they should have seen. Because each person's wants and needs are different in each relationship, there are no absolute rules to predicting success or happiness. However, here are some things to note which can give you valuable insights. 1. How do you feel when you part? Do you come away with good feelings about yourself? If not, what is happening that makes you feel badly? 2. Do you compete with each other? Some competition may be fun or stimulating, but be careful if you feel that your partner is always trying to win, one-up, or overpower you. 3. How does your partner talk about other people? Are they critical behind someone's back? It's hard not to secretly fear that they will talk about you also. 4. How does your partner view the world? Doom and gloom, or rosey no matter what? How does that match your view? 5. Does your partner tend to hog conversations, doing all the talking or keeping the topic to things which only they are interested in? 6. Do they make jokes at the expense of other people's feelings? 7. Do they show appreciation to others, or take kindnesses for granted? 8. Does your partner tend to criticize, complain or condemn often? 9. How did your partner's past relationships end? Are they still friends with past partners or do they blame and criticize people in their past? If they do, perhaps you should expect the same someday. 10. Do they keep their commitments to you -- are they on time, do what they say they will? If they treat you shabbily now, is it reasonable to expect things to get better? Often in the glow of a burgeoning relationship we are all on our best behavior and treat the object of our affections with great respect and consideration. Many of the clues listed here deal with how your partner treast others outside the warmth of your romance. How important each one is depends on your own values and priorities. There are no absolute rules, no absolute answers, and never any absolute guarantees. Just consider these questions. Love isn't really blind -- usually it just forgets to look. ------------------------------- Get timely tips on how to handle the mysteries of dating by signing up for our NEW dating e-newsletter. Just send a blank e-mail to dating_agai-@topica.com. ------------------------------------------------ ADVICE FROM AUNT JANET: Newly single? Don't date! A colleague of mine is going through a breakup after more than 10 years in a relationship. So she asked me for advice about dating and I told her: Don't do it! If you are in the process of a breakup, the LAST thing you need is to be dating again right now. You're going through major surgery -- you need to rest and recuperate. That means, first, experiencing the normal stages of anger and grief. Don't try to skip this; it's essential to your mental AND physical health. Then develop your life as a single -- find what YOU think is fun and interesting to do, pursue hobbies, make new friends. Yes, get out to singles events and meet people, just don't make any dates for at least six months. If someone attractive asks for your number at a church potluck, you say, "Oh, thanks so much for asking, but I'm not dating for six months. If you'd like to give me your number, I'll be happy to call you then." The six months is counted from the day you actually split up, by the way. If you keep getting back together and breaking up again, you have to restart the count! <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< SHARE WITH A FRIEND-- PLEASE FORWARD THIS ISSUE ! ------------------------------------- If you haven't already done so, please forward this issue to your single friends and associates. Thanks so much! <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< July Dating & Mingling: July 1 (Mon.): First Monday, 7 pm, chess night at Borders Books & Music, Biltmore Fashion Park, 24th St. & Camelback, Phx. Watch; play! 602-957-6660. July 2 (Tues.; June 28-July 6): Prescott Frontier Days Rodeo. Parade, street dances, etc. Prescott. 928-445-3103. July 3 (Wed.): 18th Annual Light Up the Sky festival, 6-10 p.m. Rides, entertainment, and fireworks. Free. Maryvale Baseball Park, 3600 N. Indian School, Phoenix. 602-534-6441. July 4 (Thurs.): With or without fireworks, there will still be celebrations. Tempe Town Lake Festival admission is $5 in advance, $8 at the gate. Info 480-350-5180. **Glendale's Hometown Celebration is at Glendale Community College and Sahuaro Ranch Park, 59th & Olive Avenues. 5-9 p.m. Free. **Fabulous Phoenix 4th, 4-10 p.m., Wesley Bolin Plaza, 15th Ave. & Washington St., Phoenix. Free. Entertainment includes country singer John Michael Montgomery. 602-531-3378. **11th Annual Sidewalk Egg-frying Challenge, in Oatman. 520-758-5854. July 5 (Fri.; July 1-15): Victorian Wedding exhibit at the Rosson House Museum, 6th St. & Monroe in Phoenix. 602-261-8948. Half-hour guided tours Wed.-Sat. 10 am to 3:30, Sun. noon - 3:30. $4 adm. 602-262-5029. July 6 (Sat.): Free concert 8 p.m. in the outdoor amphitheater at the new Steele Indian School Park, 3rd St. & Indian School, Phoenix. 602-495-0739. July 7 (Sun.): Free live music in the open air Sunday nights 7:30-9 pm at the McCormick Stillman Railroad Park, southeast corner of Scottsdale Rd. & Indian Bend. Info 480-312-2312. July 8 (Mon.): Stroll "downtown." Rodeo Drive at the Kierland Center is like a downtown district -- except it's misted! Scottsdale Road north of Greenway. Have dessert at the Cheesecake Factory. July 9 (Tues.): "Summer Night Skies" lecture, Kiwanis Park Lake, Mill Ave. & All-America Way, Tempe. Free. Open lawn seating. 480-350-5200. July 10 (Wed.): 7-10 pm, coffee house with performers and a jam session, Encanto Park Clubhouse, Phoenix. 602-261-8993. July 11 (Thurs.): Free night at Phoenix Art Museum (donations appreciated). Til 9 p.m. 1625 N. Central. 602-257-1880. July 12 (Fri.): Desert Ridge Mall's Marketplace and District stages host free live music Tatum & Loop 101, Phoenix. 6:30-10 pm Fri. & Sat., 2-6 p.m. Sun. 480-513-7586. July 13 (Sat.): Every Saturday, classic cars & motorcycles exhibited approx. 5-9 p.m. around McDonalds at the Scottsdale Pavilions, Pima & Indian Bend Roads in Scottsdale. July 14 (Sun.): Free live music in the open air Sunday nights 7:30-9 pm at the McCormick Stillman Railroad Park, southeast corner of Scottsdale Rd. & Indian Bend. Info480-312-2312. July 15 (Mon.): Cool off with ice cream, in a hamburger joint! The Fuddrucker's restaurants have a '50s diner atmosphere and excellent soda fountain values for treats like malts and sundaes. July 16 (Tues.): Word-buffs meet every Tuesday night 6 p.m. for Scrabble, at the Hampton Inn, just south of Shea on Scottsdale Rd. July 17 (Wed.): Nonsmoking coffeehouse, 7 p.m., auditorium, Glendale Public Library, 5959 W. Brown St. Free. 623-930-3573. July 18 (Thurs.): Art Walk every Thurs., Scottsdale galleries, 5th Ave. area. 7-9 p.m. 480-990-3939. July 19 (Fri.): Rent a hand-crank ice cream freezer. Have friends over to make ice cream and play board games. BYOT (bring your own topping.) July 20 (Sat., also Sun.): 15th annual White Mountain Native American Art Festival, held at Blue Ridge Junior High School, Pinetop-Lakeside. Admission $6. Info 800-573-4031. July 21 (Sun.): Every Sunday, free admission day at the Pueblo Grande Museum, 4619 E. Washington, Phoenix, on southwest archeology and culture. 1-4:45 Sunday. 602-495-0901. July 22 (Mon.): Catch up on the movie blockbusters you missed at one of the discount (generally $2 these days) movie theaters. July 23 (Tues.): Most Tuesdays there's a backgammon tournament at 7 pm at the George and Dragon pub, 4240 N. Central in Phoenix. Tourney entry is $10; bring your own board. 602-265-1992. July 24 (Wed.): There's live theater during lunch time at the Herberger Theater Center, 222 E. Monroe St., Phoenix. 12:10 Tues., Wed. & Thurs. Adm. $5. Running to Aug. 1, Upstairs Theatre presenting "Long Distance Phone Call." Info 602-254-7399 ext. 106 or 104. July 25 (Thurs.): Every Thurs., Sc. Center for the Arts, Civic Center Mall, is open til 8 p.m. 480-994-ARTS. July 26 (Fri.): 27th annual Mighty Mud Mania, Chaparral Park, 5401 N. Hayden Rd. in Scottsdale. Watch kids 1 to 13 in mud-filled events 9 am to 2 pm. Free. 480-312-2771. July 27 (Sat.): Hogs in Heat, all-you-can-eat barbecue & dance, Rock Springs Cafe, Black Canyon City (exit 242, I-17 n. of Phx.). 4 pm-? 623-374-5794. July 28 (Sun.): Get up out of the heat. Weekends you can ride the chairlift at Sunrise Park Resort on the White Mt. Apache Reservation for just $8. Info 800-772-7669. July 29 (Mon.): Give in to the heat, embrace the heat. Dine at a really authentic Mexican restaurant and add extra hot sauce. Los Dos Molinos in south Phoenix is one of the best. July 30 (Tues.): Poetry in the Park, Encanto Park Clubhouse, 2605 N. 15th Ave., Phoenix. 7-9:30 p.m. Free. 602-262-6412. July 31 (Wed.): Acoustic Jam Session for amateurs, large meetingroom, Glendale Public Library, 5959 W. Brown St. Free. 623-930-3573. < > < > < > < > < > IF YOU KNOW THE RIGHT CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS, meeting people can be fun and easy ! Improve your MEETING PEOPLE skills with the HOW TO MEET PEOPLE audiocassette by Janet Jacobsen, editor of Single Scene. You'll learn **How to overcome your fears **Three sure-fire meeting methods **Where to find interesting people **Simple, fun techniques to improve your social life NOW. To order HOW TO MEET PEOPLE, send $9.95 (first class postage & handling included) to Interpersonal Enterprises Inc. Box 6243 Dept. E Scottsdale AZ 85261-6243. Satisfaction Guaranteed!