Singles Scene Newsletter 7-31-00 issue 31 sing-@primenet.com! In this issue: * I don't care; what do YOU want to do? Negotiating what to do on a date! * Singles Web site of the Week * All Singles Dance Schedule * Arizona Date Ideas for August 1 to 15 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * I don't care; what do you want to do? by Janet L. Jacobsen On the first few dates, everyone bends over backward to make a good impression, so much so that sometimes we avoid making a firm statement on anything, in case the other person doesn't agree. This can lead to many fun hours trying to decide what to do tonight, without ever expressing a definite opinion. Solution: suggestions and negotiation. Presenting your ideas as a suggestion, rather than a demand, is a good beginning. Still, you may suddenly go blank when they call you back after that first coffee date and ask you out again. For such situations you need a clipping file. Every time you see an article, ad, or even a brief mention of something you think sounds fun or interesting, clip it out and stuff it in your handy "date ideas" file folder. This can include restaurants, coffee bars, nightclubs, recreation ideas, even regularly scheduled community events. Then when they say, "I don't care, what do you want to do?" you can refer to your trusty file and say, "The Highland Games festival is coming up this weekend. Could be fun!" And once a suggestion has been made, the other person may come up with additional possibilities. It's actually an ideal situation when you both have ideas for things to do, because then you get to negotiate. For example, if you've agreed to go to dinner, but can't decide where, you each suggest three possible places (for a handy list of six). Then you each say what you like and/or don't like about each option, weeding things down until there's one logical choice. In other words, if I say, "Forget the chicken place," then you must take the next step, such as speaking well of steak or being hesitant about Thai food. Toss choices back and forth until you agree on one. If you still can't agree at this point, maybe now would be a good time to break up the relationship. Or have dinner separately and go the Highland Games together later. ************************ Singles Site of the Week - Would you like to know how long you're going to live? And what changes you could make to extend the time? Fill out the 20 item questionnaire at www.livingto100.com and get a projection -- based on your history and your life-style -- of your likely longevity! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ALL SINGLES DANCE SCHEDULE: August 4 Camelback Inn, 5402 E. Lincoln Dr., Paradise Valley August 11 Camelback Inn, 5402 E. Lincolon Dr., Paradise Valley August 18 Scottsdale Radisson, 7171 N. Scottsdale Rd. August 25 Scottsdale Radisson, 7171 N. Scottsdale Rd. Sept. 1 Mountain Shadows, 5641 E. Lincoln Dr., Paradise Valley Dance admission is $7 before 9 pm, $8 after 9. Call 480-949-8076 (press 1) for more info or see *********************** DATE IDEAS Tues. Aug. 1: Monsoons threatening? A good night for drinks and/or dinner in the revolving restaurant on top of the Hyatt Hotel downtown Phoenix. Wednesday, Aug. 2: Adults' Night Out, Arizona Science Center, 7th St. & Washington, Phoenix. 5:30-9 p.m. Includes a special program or lecture. $5 admi., plus $2 for giant-screen film or planetarium. 602-716-2000. Thurs., Aug. 3: Every Thursday, "The Unexplained," lectures on extraordinary phenomena, Glendale Public Library, 5959 W. Brown St., 7 pm, auditorium. 623-930-3573. Fri., Aug. 4: Carlsbad Tavern in Scottsdale has wonderful appetizers at a discount during Happy Hour. Make a meal by sharing several. Sat. Aug. 5: Most Saturday nights, Centerpoint, Mill & University, downtown Tempe. 6-9 pm., live music, magicians and other entertainment. Free. 480-947-3500. Sunday, Aug. 6: Sunnyslope Rock Garden, 10023 N. 13th Pl., Phoenix. Sculptures made of broken china, rocks & trinkets. 1-5 p.m. Free. 602-997-4627. Monday, Aug. 7: 7 pm, chess night at Borders Books & Music, Biltmore Fashion Park, 24th St. & Camelback, Phx. Watch; play! 602-957-6660. Tues., Aug. 8: Take a late picnic to Sahuaro Ranch Park, 9802 N. 59th Ave. in Glendale. Open to 9 pm. 623-939-5782. Wed., Aug. 9: 7 p.m., every Wednesday night fun skate for adults, El Dorado Park, 2311 N. Miller Rd., Scottsdale. Winds thru city. Free 480-942-4156. Thurs., Aug. 10: Art Walk (every Thurs.), Scottsdale galleries, 5th Ave. area. 7-9 p.m. 480-990-3939. Friday, Aug. 11: See the movie "The Runaway Bride," in the wave pool at the Kiwanis Park Recreation Center, 6111 S. All America Way, in Tempe. Waves begin at 6:30, the movie at 8 pm. Tubes and seats are limited, so arrive early. $4. 480-350-5201. Sat., Aug. 12: Perseids Meteor Shower, usually the showiest of the year. See the northeast sky away from city lights; best is after midnight. Sun., Aug. 13: Every Sunday, free admission day at the Pueblo Grande Museum, 4619 E. Washington, Phoenix, on southwest archeology and culture. 1-4:45 Sunday. 602-495-0901. Mon., Aug. 14: Meet for drinks "poolside" in the three-acre water area at the Pointe Tapatio Cliffs Resort, in north Phoenix. Tues., Aug. 15: Full moon tonight. Take a late walk in a park -- Encanto in Phoenix, or Eldorado in Scottsdale are good options. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * It doesn't have to be an ordeal to meet people, if you know the right conversational skills. (YES, it's a commercial announcement ....) Improve your MEETING PEOPLE skills with the HOW TO MEET PEOPLE audiocassette by Janet Jacobsen, editor of Single Scene. You'll learn **How to overcome your fears **Three sure-fire meeting methods **Where to find interesting people **Simple, fun techniques to improve your social life NOW. To order HOW TO MEET PEOPLE, send $9.95 (first class postage & handling included) to Interpersonal Enterprises Inc. Box 6243 Dept. E Scottsdale AZ 85261-6243. Satisfaction Guaranteed ************************** SHARE WITH A FRIEND-- PLEASE FORWARD THIS ISSUE ! ---------------------------------------------- If you haven't already done so, please forward this issue to your single friends and associates. Thanks so much! To unsubscribe to this newsletter, send a blank email to singlesphx--@topica.com If a friend would like to subscribe, have them send a blank email to singlesphx-@topica.com