Singles Scene News
SEXUAL SINGLES, PART 5
By HARLAN JACOBSEN
It seems that when we are most deprived of filling our sexual needs we
find it most difficult to fit our needs no matter how hard we try. Sometimes
it seems that the harder you try the less it seems to help.
WHEN YOU DEVELOP SEXUAL SELF CONFIDENCE AND SOME SUCCESS, THEN FILLING
YOUR SEXUAL NEEDS
After you have gained some sucess in sex outside of marriage, then you do get out of the desperate sexually needy person category and it shows in the improved success that you have in filling your sexual needs. Getting turned down is no longer devastat ing when you know you are okay and a desireable partner.
HOW DO YOU FIND SOMEONE WHO IS INTERESTED IN HAVING SEX WITH YOU
When you are new to this as novice single you have a problem in that you are unable to accurately detect who Is and who is not interested in you sexually or In a sexual way. Later on you will have developed sort of a sixth sense about who is turned on by you and who is not Interested In you In that way. Until you develop that sixth sense from practice and experience then you will have to verbalize your needs and ask the appropriate questions to find out where your potential partner Is in the same regard. Knowing where your partner is at the moment will save a lot of yours and their time as well. So the trick initially is to learn how to verbablize where you are and to be able to easily find out where your partner is and how your partner looks at the potential at least of the relationship.
UNTIL YOU DEVELOP EXPERIENCE AND A SIXTH SENSE ABOUT WHO IS INTERESTED
IN YOU IN A SEXUAL WAY
Later on you won't need this but initially it does give you some knowledge of what is going on between you and your potential partner instead of having to fly blind all of the time. Well experienced singles usually know how to read other signals unconciously but newly singled are often totally frustrated from having read the signals wrong.
THE 3 QUESTIONS are part of learning to be real about where you are and allowing your partner to always be real about where they are at. No more pretending or decieving, Just being honest about where you are. Many newly singled find it very scary to tell it like it is and you need to learn to be able to this in non sexual matters as well.
Whenever you are asking someone else where they are at the moment you need to volunteer where you are after asking permission to ask some rather personal questions. If they say, oh, alright, then state where you are and then ask the question of them. This makes it easier for them to be real when you tell them where you are first.
MEMORIZE THESE THREE QUESTIONS
First ask permission to ask a rather intimate question.
NOBODY ASKED ANYBODY TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM.
The first question was to find out if they found you sexually attractive
or not. Not just attractive but sexually attractive. Either they do or
they do not. It needs to be yes or no. Accept nothing else.
IS THIS EXCITING ATTRACTIVE PERSON INTERESTED IN ME SEXUALLY????
NOW YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AS FAR AS SEXUAL POTENTIAL WITH THIS PERSON
You can now get on with the development of whatever type of potential relationship you have here. This is far better then one believing you have one type of potential relationship and the other has in mind a potential something else.
LEARN TO BE REAL..THEN OTHERS WILL BE REAL BACK.
Next issue, How do we get past that awkward stage and actually get in